Running on - Fear...
Sundays are rest days - but since I want to document this journey, I am going to try and post every day for the C2FM adventure. Weekdays will be related to thoughts on training, Sundays will be my day of emotion, digging deep into the why and wrestling with the demons. It will be raw!
I am only two weeks into this new project, so not really a lot of inner turmoil to report. But my friend Brenda just finished her very first marathon in Athens, Greece today and fear has crept up upon me as I realize a year from now I may be toeing the line for my very first marathon.*
As I am only covering a little over three miles right now, the fear of 26.2 could literally stop me in my tracks. As only 40 minutes elapses with each workout, the fear of possibly 6 hours on my feet makes me want to hide my running shoes. Looking at the miles needed to train between now and then is mind-boggling. And that little voice (I know it's fear) reminds me that I have yet to finish any training program - only getting so far along and then giving up. Quitting.
That option of quitting half way into a half marathon training program isn't catastrophic. I've done many halfs on half-assed training. I'm fit - I can walk for miles - no worries. But a marathon is an entirely different race. Another half marathon, literally. To toe the line on inadequate training - worse, incomplete training - would be catastrophic.
So fear will be my constant companion in this journey.
But maybe I need to turn that fear of long miles, long hours, into fear of quitting.
J
*If I end up going that way - there's another event that is not a marathon, but very, very challenging which intrigues me and may end being the eventual icing on this cake.
I am only two weeks into this new project, so not really a lot of inner turmoil to report. But my friend Brenda just finished her very first marathon in Athens, Greece today and fear has crept up upon me as I realize a year from now I may be toeing the line for my very first marathon.*
As I am only covering a little over three miles right now, the fear of 26.2 could literally stop me in my tracks. As only 40 minutes elapses with each workout, the fear of possibly 6 hours on my feet makes me want to hide my running shoes. Looking at the miles needed to train between now and then is mind-boggling. And that little voice (I know it's fear) reminds me that I have yet to finish any training program - only getting so far along and then giving up. Quitting.
That option of quitting half way into a half marathon training program isn't catastrophic. I've done many halfs on half-assed training. I'm fit - I can walk for miles - no worries. But a marathon is an entirely different race. Another half marathon, literally. To toe the line on inadequate training - worse, incomplete training - would be catastrophic.
So fear will be my constant companion in this journey.
But maybe I need to turn that fear of long miles, long hours, into fear of quitting.
J
*If I end up going that way - there's another event that is not a marathon, but very, very challenging which intrigues me and may end being the eventual icing on this cake.
So proud of Brenda - she really is inspirational!
ReplyDeleteYour fear, doubt will be a driving force in your training! You know (as I know) 26.2 is the real deal and you can't BS it like we can a half! Fear is a healthy thing...it is reminding you of what you value and find important.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up!
Thanks, David - you know that my fear and doubt will translate into my asking for advice/support from you! A big, scary challenge ahead, but I think I can do it!!
Delete...and congrats to Brenda! Outstanding!
ReplyDelete